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RE: Joke Corner
By Bally 1 month ago

‍The wife bought me a Rolex for my birthday, "Do you like it?"

She asked. "It's great, it will always remind me of your pussy." I answered.

"Is it because it's precious and sexy?" She inquired.

"No," I replied, "It's a bit loose on my wrist!"

RE: Joke Corner
By daib0 1 month ago

‍Imagine The Titanic with a lisp
...

It's unthinkable

RE: Joke Corner
By Magic147 1 month ago
daib0 wrote:

‍Imagine The Titanic with a lisp
...

It's unthinkable

‍Haha that's brilliant.

RE: Joke Corner
By GynnSquarePhoenix 1 month ago

‍Some Egyptian bloke just pulled up in a BMW, beeped his horn and bared his naked arse out of the window...


Bloody toot and car moon!

RE: Joke Corner
By GynnSquarePhoenix 1 month ago

‍I made that classic mistake last night that all guys make. I got really drunk, and I ended up having sex with my best friend.


Now, I can't even bring myself to talk to him...


To be honest, I don't even want to play fetch with him!

RE: Joke Corner
By tangerinejezza 1 month ago

To the person who stole my antidepressants.......










I hope you’re happy now!

RE: Joke Corner
By Magic147 1 month ago
tangerinejezza wrote:

To the person who stole my antidepressants.......










I hope you’re happy now!

‍Ha, that reminds me of an old Bob Monkhouse joke.

"When I first said I wanted to be a comedian, everybody laughed. They're not laughing now."

RE: Joke Corner
By Bally 1 month ago

‍Details from Elisabeth Fritzel's diary have been released and make fascinating reading


Monday

Stayed in - Dad visited and shagged me


Tuesday

Stayed in - Dad visited and shagged me


Wednesday

Stayed in - Dad visited and shagged me


Thursday

Stayed in - Dad visited and shagged me


Friday

Stayed in - Dad visited and shagged me


Saturday

Stayed in - Dad visited and shagged me


Sunday

Got out and went to watch Everton

Wish I had stayed in with dad

RE: Joke Corner
By daib0 4 weeks ago

‍Whoever invented the knock knock joke...


Should get a Nobell prize...

RE: Joke Corner
By daib0 3 weeks ago

‍Why did Karl Marx only write in small letters?

He hated capitalism...

RE: Joke Corner
By tangerinejezza 3 weeks ago
e1451f66d13bb3f8de55ffd041cb9c0d.jpeg

RE: Joke Corner
By daib0 3 weeks ago

‍Bought a blindfold today … not sure why though … I can't see myself wearing it

RE: Joke Corner
By GynnSquarePhoenix 2 weeks ago

‍The wife was in the kitchen cooking me bacon & eggs when I suddenly heard a loud thud. Running in I found her collapsed on the floor & not breathing. I was in a blind frenzy, I had no idea what to do...


Then I remembered, Wetherspoons do an all day breakfast for just £3.99!

RE: Joke Corner
By Bally 2 weeks ago

Went to the sperm bank last night , The woman took my details and said " Can you masturbate in the cup"


I said " I know I'm good but I'm not ready for a tournament "

RE: Joke Corner
By McPoolmob 1 week ago

‍Check out @timothywookey’s Tweet:

RE: Joke Corner
By Bally 1 week ago

‍You really are a bellend. An unfunny racist bigoted bellend

RE: Joke Corner
By GynnSquarePhoenix 1 week ago

‍I saw 6 men walking around the cemetery carrying a coffin.


2 hours later they were still walking around, still carrying the coffin... 


I thought to myself, "They've lost the plot!"

RE: Joke Corner
By sudds green 6 days ago

‍Bus load of nuns crashes and there's a line of penguins at the pearly gates. 

St. Peter says,  "Just a few preliminaries,  ladies,  before we let you through. Sure it's only a formality. 

Now then,  dear,  tell me,  have you ever done anything improper?"

"Forgive me,  Father",  said Sister Ethel,  "for I once saw a man's penis when I was a young girl. "

"Not to worry. Dab your eyes from this basin of Holy Water and you shall pass."

Next in line was Sister Agnes. 

St.  Peter asked the same question. 

Sister Agnes blushed and replied,  " Forgive me Father,  but before I took my vows,  I touched a priests's penis after a night on the altar wine. "

"Oh my!! " said an anxious St.  Peter,  "However,  God is great and can forgive our sins.  Wash your hands in the basin and you,  too,  shall pass. "

Suddenly,  there was a commotion from the rear of the queue. 

Sister Catherine barged past the others and presented herself before St.  Peter  who exclaimed, 

"What's the matter,  my child? "

"Well,  Father, if I'm going to have to gargle with that Holy Water,  I'd rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it! "



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